Monday, June 30, 2008

Beauty is passing

As I was thinking what I was going to wear the other day, I had to put a stop to a train of thoughts which started up in my mind. They went something like this:

What am I going to wear?…..I just don’t have any clothes that fit me properly….I need to get some more clothes….maybe if I lost a bit more weight then I could fit into the clothes I do have better….I really need to stop eating so much chocolate and junk….I need to do more exercise….I just want to throw out all my clothes and start all over again….I wish I had more money to buy more clothes…..

These thoughts were starting to make me feel moody and incredibly ungrateful!

I was immediately reminded of my ‘Heart Check’ questions which I have stuck to a cabinet in my bathroom, I open it up everyday, and it reminds me to consider my heart when I am getting ready. These questions come from a book called Biblical Womanhood in the Home.

Heart Check
“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

Self examination: these questions help up discern our thoughts, motives, and goals with regard to the issue of beauty. Self-glory or God’s glory? Ask yourself these questions.

1. Do I spend more time daily caring for my personal appearance than I do in Bible study, prayer and worship?

2. Do I spend excessive money on clothes, hair and makeup, or is it an amount that is God-honouring?

3. Do I want to lose weight to “feel better about myself”, or do I desire to be self-disciplined for the glory of God?

4. Am I on a quest for thinness to impress others, or do I seek to cultivate eating habits that honour God? We should be self-controlled in what we eat not merely to maintain a certain weight, but because self-control is a fruit of the spirit.

5. Do I exercise to try to create or maintain a “good figure”, or do I exercise to strengthen my body for God’s service?

6. Is there anything about my appearance that I wish I could change, or am I fully grateful to God for the way He created me? Psalm 139:14 ‘"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made”

7. Am I jealous of the appearance of others, or am I truly glad when I observe other women who are more physically attractive than I?

8. Do I covet the wardrobe of others, or do I genuinely rejoice when other women are able to afford and purchase new clothing?

9. When I attend an event or activity, do I sinfully compare myself with others, or do I go asking God to show me whom to love and how to do it?

10. Do I ever dress immodestly or with the intent of drawing attention to myself, or do I always dress in a manner that pleases God?

On a normal day, I am very content with how I look, but there are days, like the other day when I thought I had nothing to wear, that I start to fool myself into thinking that I am not ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ (actually I think the real problem was that I hadn’t done any washing for a few days and most of my ‘normal’ clothes were in the wash!).

It is a discipline to make myself get off that train of thought and check my heart. It is important to look presentable, we need to spend a bit of time doing that, but what is my reason for it? Do I want to look a certain way to impress others? to feel good about myself? I need to dress to impress God, I can look attractive on the outside according to human standards, but my inner beauty is so much more important. God doesn’t want us to neglect our outer beauty, but to Him and ultimately to others, our inner beauty is what is most ‘precious in His sight’.

These verses are also stuck to my bathroom cabinet.

Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging the hair, wearing fine gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:3-4

I could spend ages looking at my clothes in despair not knowing what to wear, hence cultivating an ungrateful and self absorbed attitude, or I could just make a decision quickly about what I will wear and purpose to be thankful for the clothes I do have and for the way God has made me. Does it really matter if I wore the same clothes I did yesterday? (I guess it would if they were really dirty!)

I love what Anne Ortlund suggests in her book Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman. She has just a handful of outfits that she wears, to avoid having to think too much about what to wear. It is worth taking the time to consider which clothes fit best - which are modest and comfortable, and stick with the same combinations. It is nice to dress up and buy new clothes sometimes, but if we are spending more time on this than what we do with God, and we are never satisfied with what we already have, our priorities will start to get mixed up. Several years ago I made a decision not to buy any new clothes for a 6 month period. I disciplined myself to ‘make do’ with the clothes I already had in my wardrobe. This was so wonderfully freeing for me in many ways. It saved me time at the shops as I didn’t need to look at any clothes shop, even just to browse, I got used to wearing the same clothes day after day and was completely content with this, not worrying about whether someone would spot me in the same outfit two days in a row! And it made me realise that actually, I do have quite a lot of clothes and I really don’t need any new ones!

I am also very conscious of the fact that I have 3 little girls watching me each day. Do they see me spend more time in front of the mirror than what I do with God? I don’t want them to become self absorbed with how they look, what they wear, or what others think about them, so I need to make sure that I am setting an example on how many and what sort of clothes I buy, how much time I spend in front of the mirror, and how much time I spend with God.

How important it is to remember that,

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing
But a woman who fears the LORD shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nothing really profound to say, just that I'm loving you blogging!

Anonymous said...

I TOTALLY agree on you with this! It's something i've been learning also. There's a book called 31 gir, and encourages women to be the one described in proberbs 31, a woman after God's own heart. And it explains things about our appearances just like you wrote. It is an encouraging book. I want to be the woman described in these verses (just to mention some)

"A good woman is hard to find and worth far more than diamonds" (proverbs 31:10)

"...The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." (Proverbs 31:26)

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Giver her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." (31 girl)

I want to be the woman God desires me to be! A princess to serve, not to be served!

Anonymous said...

this one gets me every time. It's one of those repeat offenders. Just when I think i've handed it over... I reach to take back control of 'who I am' and 'what I look like'. Praise God for the reality of grey hairs and wrinkles, the proof that inward beaty is all that will last. PS one always looks more beautiful with a smile on ones face:)
trish