Personal Retreats

I have a friend who has the opportunity to go away with her husband to a conference for a week, without children! Her husband will be at the conference during the day so she will have the days to herself. This opportunity has come a busy time and she was questioning whether to go, but we encouraged her to - you don't get many free holidays that include time away from your kids, time with your husband, and allotted times to yourself! I am glad she made the decision to go, despite the busyness, I know that God will help her to get everything done in time :)

This reminded me of the last school holidays which were characterised by lots of time where I went away by myself. I had the opportunity to spend a week with a special friend in need without children, my husband volunteered to look after the kids for a week! It so happened that I already had planned to go away for a night to our bible study ladies retreat, and then the following week I was going with my dad to visit my sister interstate for the weekend. Whilst I was looking forward to a break from my normal routines, I did feel guilty and felt like I was abandoning my family! I prayed through this guilt and feelings and asked God to make each time I went away a special time for me and for my husband and my children. I prayed that he would enjoy the time alone with the kids and extra times to himself!

During this time I was reminded of some of my mother's last words before she passed away. She kept a journal for the last 4-5 months before she died, I think she was hoping that one day I would pick up her journal and read it, because I felt a lot of what she wrote was directed at me! One of the things she said was how she hoped my husband would allow me to have times away by myself. With my father's support, she used to go and spend the night in a nice hotel to refresh, revive and restore. This was really important to her and in her journal it was as if she was almost urging me to make sure I do something similar, for the benefit of my personal health and for the benefit of those around me! I totally agree with her! I have experienced several times away from my husband and children now and they have been so life changing for me. I love to read, so I always devour books, and I journal a lot and analyse my life a lot and look at what I need to change in my attitudes, my routines, my schedules, my relationships.

However, when I am away I have to fight off worry about my husband and children: Is he coping ok?... Will they be safe without me around?... Are they eating enough fruit and vegetables?...What if I never see them again?...... But all this worry is sin and I often have to confess this to God and allow Him to be completely in control of my family. There is no point in me spending my time away indulging in worry and feeling guilty about not being with my family, I need to focus on why I am away from them and make the most of the opportunities I have away from them. The last times I went away, I came back with such a deep love and appreciation for my husband and children. I missed them terribly, but I felt so refreshed, so revived, so eager to get back into serving them and loving them unconditionally! Times away from our 'normal life' are so vital. Personal spiritual retreats are especially vital, Jesus made sure he retreated away from the crowds, even in the busy times He needed that time with His Father. There is a book authored by the Mahaney girls called Shopping for Time, they emphasis the importance of personal retreats and outline how they go about it on their blog.

I am so thankful for my husband who let me go away, and my prayers for him were answered! He enjoyed the time with the kids, and the time to himself, and I want to commend him for the wonderfully clean house I came home to each time I was away, and for the roast he made for me one time I came home, and for being so supportive in all that I do! If you want to hear more about how he 'really coped', check out his posts on Daddy Daycare.

And to my friend who is going away in a couple of weeks time, I hope you enjoy it!