It's the grace of God that teaches us..

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.

It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.

Titus 2:11-12

I have been reading through Jerry Bridges, Discipline of Grace - God's role and our role in the pursuit of holiness, and these verses were at the start of chapter 5 entitled, Disciplined by grace. I read this chapter the other day, after a rather frantic and stressful week, and these verses have been plaguing my mind ever since!

I am coming to realise so very slowly, that my only hope in this life is the hope I have in the gospel of Jesus Christ! He is my only hope. It doesn't matter if I am having a good day, or a bad day, if my hope, my purpose, my understanding of all that happens in this life is not based on the gospel of Christ, everything can so easily fall apart and seem all so hopeless!

This past week I have been confronted so many times with my sinfulness, and I have easily become caught up in the trap of guilt and hardness of heart, but this chapter helped to release me somewhat, and remind me once again of where I need to fix my mind, my heart, my hope!

This chapter, and the above mentioned verses in particular reminded me that it is the grace of God that teaches me to life a life that glorifies God, the same grace that brought me salvation. And its only when I stop to consider this saving grace do I have the ability to say "no" to ungodliness, and yes to self control and godly living.

Bridges writes,

Paul said, though, that it is the very same grace - God's unmerited favor - that brought salvation to us in the first place that disciplines us. This means that all our response to God's dealings with us and all our practice of the spiritual disciplines must be based on the knowledge that God is dealing with us in grace. And it means that all our effort to teach godly living and spiritual maturity to others must be grounded in grace. If we fail to teach that discipline is by grace, people will assume, as I did, that it is by performance.

That is why we must not put the gospel on the shelf once a person becomes a new believer. he or she will have just as difficult a time believing that God saves by grace instead of by works. ...

He closes the chapter with this reminder.

Remember, the grace that brought salvation to you is the same grace that teaches you. But you must respond on the basis of grace, not law. That is why you must "preach the gospel to yourself every day."

So once again I have been challenged about my need to preach the gospel to myself everyday...I am so thankful that He is my only hope!

We are in a war

Two weekends ago I attended a conference about Spiritual warfare. It was a life changing event and has changed my way of thinking about the Christian life in so many ways.

The speaker was Chris Mueller from Faith Bible Church in California (you can download his sermons, he has preached through the whole book of Epesians), and we went through that awesome passage at the end of Ephesians, 6:10-20.

Here are some things I learnt and was reminded of throughout the weekend.

- As Christians we are to stay dependently strong to be able to stand firm. Eph 6:10

- We battle as a church, not as an individual

- Be strong, means to be dependant totally on God

- To win we need to know our enemy.

- We battle against an army of demons.

- We need to battle evil by remaining humble. This was the the most convicting one for me. These verses have been so helpful to me over the past two weeks.

James 4:6-10 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

1 Peter 5:6-9
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

- We need to be prepared by wearing the Armour GOD gives us, it's His Armour we are to put on.

- The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God refers to the bible verbally spoken to resist temptations. We need to attack temptations with the right verses. We need to know our weaknesses and be ready to fight using appropriate scripture.

- We need to lean on the word, learn the word, live the word and love the word.

- We need to be alert through prayer and purpose.

- We need to focus our prayer specifically on evangelism.

I guess the biggest thing I was reminded of was that we are in a WAR! Satan and his army are doing all they can to bring us down. We need to constantly be on guard, examining ourselves, our hearts, and devote ourselves fully to Him, and cover each other with prayer continually!

Let patience have its perfect work

I have decided to read the book of James for this month of January.

The first few verses start off with.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,

knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

But let patience have its perfect work,

that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

James 1:2-3

We experienced one of those trials the other night, and after reading these verses again, it made me think that sometimes trials like the one we had, may just happen to let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing.

No matter how big or small the trial, they all test our faith. Am I still trusting and holding on to God even when it seems like everything is turning out wrong, or I just don't know how I will make it through.

It is comforting to know that God IS doing something, even if its just to perfect my patience.

There are so many little things that happen day by day that try my patience, my children are great instruments to teach it to me.

Sometimes when I reflect upon my day, I am rather horrified to look at the times I lose my patience over something so insignificant, and....selfish!

So often it definitely is a lack of trust thing. I have things planned out in my head the way I think they should go, when they don't turn out that way, I start to lose patience and get frustrated. Instead of trusting Him with all my heart I fall into leaning on my own understanding.

But...I am thankful for the many times the Holy Spirit has led me back to look to Him, to make the choice to trust in God and have faith in Him and His plans, they always are the best way.

And the peace that takes over is so wonderfully freeing, I no longer have to worry that we are running late, that we won't get to the toilet in time, that the kids are getting restless and fidgety while we are waiting for someone.... I just hand it over to God and He grants me the peace, and ability to be patient!

I have been meditating on this verse of late.

..being confident of this very thing, He who began a good work in you

will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6

For the first time I realised that He will still be working on me until the day of Jesus Christ, which may not happen until long after I have left this earth.

So in Heaven, He will still be working on me, if I haven't learned the patience thing!

I am looking forward to that day in sooo many ways!!

Striking the first blow in the battle

I love holidays, but I also love routine, and sometimes those two don't go together all that well! I have been in holiday mode ever since Christmas and consequently have missed my early morning times with the Lord.

I have really felt the difference. Instead of waking up to the subtle beeping of my alarm clock, I am awoken to little voices asking if they can get up now, and then those little voices turn into louder voices as more little people wake up. And then starts the requests for milk, food, silly games, quarreling and so on.....!

When I get up early I have at least 20 minutes after showering and dressing to just sit in my comfy chair and stare into space, in absolute quiet! I then feel ready to proceed into reading my bible and prayer. But I have missed these times, the past two weeks, and I can feel myself being attacked from many different angles!!

John Piper helped sum up how I was feeling in his book When I don't desire GOD - How to fight for Joy. Under the heading, How important is early-morning prayer? he outlines 5 reasons to rise early for prayer. I related well to the first two.

"First, it signals conscience that this is of first importance in the day. That witness from our action to our conscience has a joyful effect on the Christian mind. Second, early morning prayer strikes the first blow in the battle of the day, instead of waiting till we are besieged from all sides.Third, what we do daily and do early shapes the spirit of our minds and brings us into a disposition of humility and trust that will bear better fruit than anxiety or self-reliance..."

I didn't realise how much my early morning times prepared me for the day, especially when it comes to interacting with my children. When I have not prepared for the first blow in the battle of the day, my first reactions to quarrels, demands, spilt milk are done in short temper and frustration, instead of love and grace.

I guess the good thing about holiday time is that I can still get up early and spend time with the Lord, but because we don't have to rush out anywhere, I can take it slowly and find a relaxing spot to curl up on the couch later in the day.

And, after reading a few pages of John Piper's book, I feel inspired to read it again this holiday time, that book changed my devotional life 2 years ago, and I am looking forward to being challenged once again!

O satisfy us in the morning with Your steadfast love,

that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

Psalm 90:14

Thoughts about Mary

I have been reading The Nativity Story a novelisation of The Nativity Story movie. I have really enjoyed getting into the characters, to take the time to ponder and consider what it would have been like for Mary, Joseph, their families, the wise men.

So far, I am loving the way the author, Angela Hunt, has portrayed all the characters, especially Mary. I have always been so drawn to Mary, and even more so since having children.

A few years ago I read through most of Francine Rivers, Lineage of Grace, but I chose not to read the account of Mary, I didn't want to to be caught up in the all the reality and emotions of what she may have experienced at the cross. But I have enjoyed getting to know the Mary of this story. In an interview with Angela Hunt at the back of the book she responds to this question:

Of all the women in Judea, why do you think God chose Mary to give birth to the Saviour of the World?

Angela Hunt: While I can't presume to know the mind of God, I realised something while I was working on the scenes in which Mary travelled to see Elizabeth. In my first draft, I had Mary thinking the sort of thoughts I'd think if I were her: Am I delusional? Was I hallucinating when I saw the angel? If Elizabeth really is pregnant, I'll know I didn't dream that encounter in the olive grove.

I had to strike all those thoughts when I studied Elizabeth's response to Mary. Luke 1:45 tells us that when she saw her young cousin, Elizabeth said, "You are blessed, because you believed that the Lord would do what he said"(emphasis added).

While I'm sure Galilee was filled with virtuous young virgins who loved and followed ADONAI, I'm not sure there were many who had Mary's pure faith. She went to Elizabeth not to test the angel's word but fully and happily expecting to find her aging cousin six months pregnant.

Mary provides a stark contrast with Zechariah - the priest doubted the angel, but the young girl accepted Gabriel's word with unquestioning faith and obedience.

I still marvel at Mary's trust and faith in God, an unbelievable miracle was about to happen inside of her and she didn't question the angel, she chose to believe and obey. The Nativity Story Movie gave me a glimpse into what it must have been like for her, the questioning, doubting, persecution, rejection. But God chose her and she remained faithful.

I pray that I will have a faith like Mary's, so trusting and confident in her God. He was all she had to trust, no one had ever been through what she was about to experience, she knew full well how impossible it would be for her to be pregnant for she knew she had never known any man. But her faith was in God, not in anything human.

I am daily confronted with so many distractions and temptations, and I put my hope and trust in so many things, but God alone is the one I need to trust and hope in, He alone is the miracle worker, my helper, my Saviour.

I pray that your faith will be simple like Mary's, a quiet, confident trust in an Almighty God.

Trusting and waiting

Don't you just wish sometimes that God would speak to you in an audible voice? I do. Sometimes I wish that He would sit down with me face to face and tell me exactly what I should do in situations. What to think, what to say.

But that's not how He works.

I want immediate answers and directions, and He wants me to trust and wait on Him. He speaks, directs and leads often in a way we don't expect, and He often doesn't give me immediate answers because He wants me to trust in Him, to seek Him earnestly.

The verses in this Psalm 37:3-11 tell me what I should do in times when I feel like I need Him to speak directly to me.

Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.

Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.

He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.

Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;

Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.

Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret—it only causes harm.

For evildoers shall be cut off; But those who wait on the LORD, They shall inherit the earth. For yet a little while and the wicked shall be no more; Indeed, you will look carefully for his place, But it shall be no more.

But the meek shall inherit the earth, And shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

Trust in the Lord, dwell in the land, feed on His faithfulness, delight yourself in the Lord, commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him, rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him, do not fret, cease from anger.

His way for me, the paths He wants me to take will become clear only as I am doing these things. He will give me the desires of my heart, He will bring my way to pass, He will bring forth my righteousness as the light and justice as the noon day, and I shall delight in the abundance of peace.

What amazing promises, but to get there, I need to come to that place of trusting and waiting. And not just waiting around, twiddling my thumbs, but I need to actively feed on His faithfulness - immerse myself in His goodness; delight myself in Him - meditate on and find joy in my salvation; and cease from anger and fretting - don't try and work it out in my head, leave it all up to God.

I like these words from John Piper from his book Future Grace.

"...loving God and delighting in God and drawing near to God mean looking to God as beautiful and worthy and precious. Waiting for God and taking refuge in God and hoping in God and crying out to God mean looking to him as valiant rescuer. Trusting God means counting on his trustworthiness to meet every need. And fearing God means standing in awe at the infinite chasm between his holiness and power on the one hand, and my sin and weakness on the other..."

You know before I started writing this post, my soul was downcast and heavy, but praise God for His word and way it has lifted me up and turned my focus all onto Him.

Show me Your ways, O Lord;

Teach me your paths.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me;

For You are the God of my salvation:
On You I wait all the day.

Psalm 25:4-5

Are you longing for home?

I have just finished our book club book 'In light of eternity - Perspectives on Heaven' by Randy Alcorn. What a life changing book!

It has been so exciting to read about our real Home, the one God is preparing for us.

Alcorn writes, "Like a bride's dream of sharing a home with her groom, our love for heaven should be overflowing and contagious, just as our love for God should be (Revelation 19:7). Our passion for God and our passion for heaven should be inseparable. The more I learn about God, the more excited I get about heaven. The more I learn about heaven the more excited I get about God.

How it must wound the heart of our bridegroom to see us clinging to this roach-infested hovel called earth, dreading the thought of leaving it, when he has hand built a magnificent estate for us, a place beautiful and wondrous beyond measure."

When we are blown away by an amazing sunrise or sunset, or marvel at great mountains and canyons we can praise God and 'these will prove to be but rough sketches of heaven'.

When we enjoy a night of sincere Christian fellowship it's only a glimpse of the deep rich, fellowship we will experience in heaven for an eternity.

When we take a bite of a fresh home grown tomato and delight in it's sweetness it's only a small taste of the food we will one day feast on in our everlasting home.

When we participate in an uplifting time of worship with our fellow believers that too is only a glimpse of what our worship will be like when we worship Him face to face with the entire body of Christ.

This earth is not our home! I am so thankful for the foretastes and glimpses He gives us of what is to come, and the dissatisfaction of worldly possessions and experiences remind me that deep inside I am longing for another place. A place where our bridge groom will be and where there will be no more tears because there will be nothing to be sad about.

"We spend our lives longing for this person and this place. Just as people restlessly move from relationship to relationship seeking the person they were made for, they move from location to location seeking the place they were made for. Somewhere new and better. A bigger house. A different city. The suburbs. A new neighbourhood - safer, nicer, with better schools. That dream house in the country. That idyllic mountain chalet. That perfect beach cottage.

Think about it - we have the very answers the world is crying out for, yet our wrong views of God's person and God's place silence and distort our message. What a triumph for Satan that we would actually pass on to our churches, our children, and our world a dreary view of heaven - and by implication a dreary view of God. "

Our view of eternity impacts everything we think, desire, say and do.

What a comfort....
To know that God and His saints are watching, cheering, praying for us.

To know that one day we will be rewarded for sincere, humble faithfulness to Him.

To know that one day we will be reunited with our friends and family, we will meet the faithful saints of the past, matyrs from oppressed countries, and millions of unborn children who will be dancing around heaven.

To know that God is preparing a place for each of us, unique and individual to us (I can't wait to see how God has decorated mine just for me!)

To know that one day we will meet Him face to face and He will wipe away every tear from our eyes, no more pain, suffering, and our deepest longings will be met in that place.

The greatest weakness of the western church today is arguably our failure to think of the long tomorrow - to take seriously the reality that heaven is our home. Out of this springs our love affair with this world and our failure to live now in the light of eternity.

I have been challenged to live so much more in the light of eternity. All I do, think, desire, say, spend, do has an impact for eternity. So expect me to be talking a whole lot more about our eternal home!

At the end of the day all that we have, our spouse, our children, our family, our possessions, our freedom, could all be stripped away from us, but what lasts forever is our eternal place in Heaven, and our eternal relationship with God.

God wants us to long for that place, to dream of it, to look up into the clouds and imagine His return. Thoughts of heaven will most certainly give us a dissatisfaction with this world, but it should also stir up a sense of urgency to tell others of a God that wants to spend eternity with them.
I will finish with some questions I was challenged by.

How about you? Are you following the example of the saints by longing for heaven (Hebrews 11:13-16; 2 Corinthians 5:2)?

Are you cultivating a passion for God's place?

Is heaven and all it represents a central object of your attention?

Have you 'set your heart on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God' (Colossians 3:1)?

Is your heart's attention there, rather than on 'earthly things' (verse 2).

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Learning to walk slowly

I have been learning to breathe lately, to take things slowly, to take time to smell the roses...

A couple of weeks ago I had a good chat with a friend who has been dealing with sickness and upheavals in her life. She told me she had been reading a book I gave her over a year ago called, Breathe, and she has been challenged to slow down.

I am naturally a very driven person, and much to my husbands frustration at times, I am hardly every lazy! Mostly that's a good thing, except when it hinders me from stopping! I find it hard to sit still, to dawdle along (just like my eldest daughter loves to do!). When I am walking I need to do it quickly, when I am doing the dishes they have to be done as fast as possible so I can move quickly on to the next task.

One thing I try not to rush though is my interactions with others. I hate having to rush off to meet someone else, to dash off to another appointment etc. It's my family who unfortunately have to suffer with my quickness, my desire for efficiency and organisation! It is such a retraining of the mind, I have to stop and ask myself, why are you rushing?

Moments after my conversation with my friend, I found myself rushing once again. Of course I had good reason to, if I didn't 'hurry' I would be late to pick up kids from kindy, so I had to hurry along my daughter to the car, drive as efficiently (without speeding of course!) as possible, all because I didn't want to put out the kindy teachers who would have to wait a whole 10 minutes with my children because I was late! I felt a bit trapped on this drive home and had a real battle with my flesh and spirit, my flesh would mumble words under my breath when there was a red light, whilst my spirit was saying chill out, don't worry, go slow and enjoy the moment, the drive home with only 1 child in the car!

Now 2 weeks later, my days have still been busy and full, but I am trying to go through them slowly, I am learning how to breathe, my steps are intentionally slower. I am constantly telling myself to take it slow. Especially at those times when the kids are arguing about something, or demanding something from me, I take a deep breath and remind myself that this moment, what they are doing is not an interruption, but it is part of how I need to serve them. I need to train them and teach them to interact respectfully with each other, to ask for things politely etc.

In a book called Your God is too safe I was reminded about how Jesus lived.

Jesus was slow.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, come quickly, come now! Lazarus is dying, demons are wreaking havoc; people are hungry! Jesus, do something, and do it now!

But Jesus just strolls along, talking to this blind beggar showing kindness to that prostitute, taking a nap, eating a meal. As Philip Yancey says, the one person who never suffered from a Messiah Complex - an anxiety about having to fix the world - was the Messiah. Jesus took time and took his time.

I love that last sentence, Jesus took time and took his time. When I think about how it must have been for Jesus, I can't imagine Him ever rushing from one thing to another.

I know that sometimes when I am rushing and hurrying everyone along its because I am not trusting and waiting on God. When I am waiting and trusting I seem to have all the time in the world for my daughter to stop and pick up a bug, and to listen to my son tell me a funny joke. When I am conscious that God is sovereign, that He is in control of everything, when I am trusting Him with all my heart and not leaning on my own understanding of how things are going, I am much more willing to take my time and to enjoy each moment.

So if you notice me rushing or walking fast, please remind me to breathe and walk slower and to put my trust in God.

What would it really be like to live on earth with Jesus

I was chatting with a friend today about how I would respond to Jesus if I was around when He was.

It's so easy to read about His life 2000 years ago and think - if I was Peter, there's no way I would deny Him, if I was Martha surely I would have grabbed the opportunity to sit at His feet and hang on His every word, if I was one of the disciples in the garden, I would have fought off the desire to sleep realising that Jesus was deeply distressed and troubled.

It's so easy for me to think that now, just reading frivolously over the words, 2000 years after it happened. But when I think deeply and realistically about it, I would have been just like them all. I am certain of it!

My friend and I talked about the many judgements, opinions, criticisms Jesus would have faced, from all sorts of people.

But, He didn't become man to please man, He came to save them and to do the will of His Father. I know that Jesus was sinless on this earth, but in the eyes of many, he surely would not have been perfect, He would have fallen short of many of the standards of that society, because they would have been looking at Him through their eyes and standards, not God's.

As I tried to put myself in the place of someone who lived with Jesus, I wondered whether I would have judged Him or criticised Him, I have certainly been guilty of doing that with many godly men and women I know.

In my eyes they may have been living or doing things that I don't agree with, or that I think may be ungodly, but I have no right to judge, to criticise. What they are doing may be totally godly and right in God's eyes.

God is the only one who can see our hearts, He knows our desires, our motives, He is the One we serve.

While I know I need to be sensitive to others around me and be careful not to be a stumbling block, I need to be far more concerned about what God thinks rather than what men think.

I am reminded of these wonderful, amazing verses from Hebrews 12:2-3 that constantly lift me up.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,

who for the joy set before him endured the cross,

scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men,

so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

When I fix my eyes on Jesus, I am reminded that He is the one I am living for, I may be judged, criticised, persecuted, or even neglected by men, but He is the One I want to bring glory to.

Are you working for God or with God?

I was confronted with this question yesterday when reading our current 'book club' book, Just like Jesus - Learning to have a heart like His by Max Lucado.

Before I read chapter 5, Being led by and unseen hand - A God-intoxicated heart I would have said I was working with God, not for Him.

But as I kept reading I started having second thoughts.

Lucado writes,

For years I viewed God as a compassionate CEO and my roles as a loyal sales representative. He had his office, and I had my territory. I could contact him as much as I wanted. He was always a phone or fax away. He encouraged me, rallied behind me, and supported me, but he didn't go with me. At least I didn't think he did. Then I read 2 Corinthians 6:1: We are "God's fellow workers" (NIV).

Yesterday I spend most of the day in and out of bed with an upset stomach and thick head.

So if I took on the above perspective of God, I would be telling God, as my compassionate CEO that I couldn't come into work today because I was sick, I needed the day off, and I'll get back to working for Him when I am better.

I must admit, I heard myself saying this to Him.

I just can't do anything, it's too hard to speak kindly to my husband and children, to pray or do the 'little things' around the home.

I felt myself saying I'll be back to work tomorrow when I'm better. Don't expect too much out of me today God, cause I need to rest!

But I was challenged to think about what I would be saying and thinking about if I was working with God.

Instead of being somewhere in an office in town carrying on with His own work, He would be right next to me, taking care of me.

He would be filling my mind with sweet scriptures about His goodness and greatness.

As my children approached me with requests and demands, He would give me the strength I needed to respond kindly and patiently with them.

When it was time to make meals, He would encourage me to take a step towards preparing a meal and He would sustain me and keep me while I got it done.

As I started to view God in this way, I started to experience such precious communion with Him, even though I was feeling weak physically, there was an inner strength being generated by Someone most powerful.

The rest of the chapter was all about pursing an unbroken, constant, intimate communion with God. Lucado writes,

"The more we search the Bible, the more we realise that unbroken communion with God is the intent and not the exception. Within the reach of every Christian is the unending presence of God".

Communion with God is not just something I do in the mornings in my devotions, it is something I can experience throughout the whole day - but it is my choice to commune with Him, to think about Him, to worship Him.

I would love to be like Frank Laubach, whom Lucado quotes, who wrote:

It is my business to look into the very face of God until I ache with bliss.....Now I like the Lord's presence so much that when for half an hour or so He slips our of mind - as He does many times a day - I feel as though I had deserted Him, and as though I had lost something very precious in my life. (March 3, 1931; May 14, 1930).

Frustration with sin!

I have been frustrated with sin today!

There was an 'episode' this morning where I sinned, regretfully, and whilst I am so thankful for God's forgiveness, His death on the cross, the hope of eternal life....

I am still so frustrated that sin exists.

I know we are being conformed to the 'image of His Son' but we will never be perfect or like Him until we get to Heaven.

It feels like sin just gets in the way of doing what I should be doing for God!

But....obviously God has sovereignly allowed sin in this life, and I know that He does use 'all things for good', I have a long heavy puritan book all about that!

I just hate it when I sin.

A friend of mine reminded me a week ago, that if our children never saw us sin or saw our faults, and if we never had to apologise to them, and their opinion of us was that we are perfect, then as they get older and realise what life is all about, they would become disillusioned, they wont know how to deal with sin, because they haven't seen us deal with it.

It's one of the hardest things, to let my children see, my weaknesses and pride.

I need to rely so much more upon the grace of God to keep me from being a stumbling block to my children, and that He truly would use all things for good, that He would be the one who saves them, protects them and keeps them.... especially from the sin of their mother!

Being sick = resting and waiting!

I love the way God always knows what I need and what is best for me.

It is so incredibly hard to trust Him sometimes, but when I do.....such amazing peace, and I wouldn't want to be in any other place (does that make sense?).

I have been sick the past few days, I always welcome sickness as a time for physical, emotional and spiritual recovery. When I get sick I see it as God's way of making me slow down, to stop and evaluate what I am doing and why, and what is most important.

I crashed emotionally on Sunday night when I was in despair about being sick!

All I could think about was all the plans I had made for the upcoming days and that my husband was going away and how was I going to cope with it all! I felt like my brain was about to explode with all the thinking whilst my body was in pain with the sickness I had.

Yet in my despair, what could I do but cry out to God, and wait on Him.

During that night of restless sleep I picked up a devotional book and I read over some familiar verses about waiting.

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the LORD;Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Psalm 39:7
And now, Lord, what do I wait for?
My hope is in You.

Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the LORD;
And He inclined to me, And heard my cry.

I knew I had to wait patiently on God to restore my health, to guide me one step at a time as to what to do with the plans I had for the coming days, and to trust that He will take care of me, my husband, my children and my house!

As it turned out, the following day I was no better and my husband organised for the children to be out of the house all day, while I spent the day in bed, reading, sleeping, and I was able to catch up on a bit of light housework.

He heard my cries, He knew what I needed and He provided for me, and I praised Him for it.

That morning in my reading I read over another familiar, favourite verse.

Psalm 50:15
Call upon Me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.

Spring has sprung!

Spring has always been my favourite season, here's why.

• I love the way it's starting to get lighter in the mornings, I can enjoy a sunrise in quietness before my kids get out of bed!
• The sun is so clear and warm, perfect for falling asleep under;
• I love watching all the leaves come back on the trees, roses budding, and flowers blooming;
• Its great to dig out shorts, skirts, t-shirts and sandals, to have a change from the Winter wardrobe!;
• Being able to take the cover off the sandpit and watching my kids spend hours digging in the sand;
• Getting stuck into the gardening, I don't mind weeding if it's an excuse to be outside in the sunshine;
• Just being outside with my kids watching them playing with caterpillars, worms, and butterflies, riding their bikes, scooters, running around;
• Going for walks and looking at all the gardens starting to bloom;
• Celebrating our wedding anniversary cause I always wanted to get married in Spring (the best time of year for flowers!);
• Revisiting places like the park and beach which have been a no go zone for a while during the cold and wet Winter;
• Exploring my dad's and father in law's gardens, they are some much more interesting than my young 2 and 1/2 year old garden!
• Spring cleaning and sorting!

I didn't realised how much I liked about Spring until I started writing stuff down!

I am so thankful that there are different seasons, it is so wonderful to have a change.

My husband bought two small grapevines last year and for the past 2 months we thought they were dead, I was ready to chuck them out. But the other day I saw some small green leaves start to appear.

Of course they had been dormant for the Winter, but I didn't realise how 'dead looking' they would get! But that was just for a season, now its time for growth.

I read that it's through the Winter when vines should be pruned, when they are dormant. It reminded me how sometimes in our lives when we are struggling it may appear that we are 'dead' or not going anywhere but that's probably when we are being pruned.

God is doing a deeper work within us even though on the outside it may appear that we are dormant or 'dead looking'. I shared this with a friend the other day who is struggling with their feelings about God. We may feel far away from God during this time, but He is doing a deeper work in us and its only for season that we may feel like this.

The grapevine needs to be dormant for a while so it can be pruned, so it can bear fruit in the proper season. During the Winter many of us experience times of sickness, isolation, weariness, because there is less sun, it is cold, we are more prone to illness - but God allows this season for deeper growth, to prepare us for the time when we will bear fruit.

So I am thankful for the change in seasons, and I look forward to seeing the fruit on the trees and the roses on the bushes!!

"To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

I need to abide

"I am the vine you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruits; for without Me you can do nothing."

Sometimes I get so busy, and think I am doing well...cause I am doing lots of stuff, but I am not abiding, I don't take the time to really connect with the vine, to linger at the Saviours feet.

In Bible Study today we learned about abiding, and how we are not going to bear 'much fruit' by doing more, by working longer and harder. The 'much fruit' is only produced when we are 'abiding' in Him. I need to spend less time working for Christ and more time with Christ.

That challenging passage about Mary and Martha was brought up, "And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving........'Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.'" Luke 10:39-42

Mary wasn't being lazy, she just knew the one thing that was needed, to spend time with Jesus, that was more important than doing things for Him, she wanted to be with Him, and the amazing part is that He wanted to be with her too!

My time with Jesus is a huge priority for me every day, each morning I delight in spending time with Him before everyone else is awake, but its through my day that I need to put that time aside for Him as well.

There are many times I hear Him prompting me.. 'just sit down and talk to Me, don't worry about folding the washing, the dishes, I will provide you with the opportunity to do them later, right now while the children are happily playing outside, sit down with Me, read My word and listen to what I have to say to you. I want to give you an abundant life, full of joy in Me...'

It is so hard to stop sometimes, but every time I do it, my soul is deeply satisfied, my strength is renewed, my heart is refreshed, I am no longer 'worried and troubled about many things'.

"Do you face seemingly insurmountable obstacles to abiding? Remember Mary's choice, the circumstances in which it happened, and the favour it brought her. Remember Susannah Wesley. A busy mother of more than a dozen boisterous kids (John and Charles among them), Susannah found a way to abide. Whenever she put a bag over her head every Wesley child knew not to interrupt - Mother was spending time with God. And the fruit from Susannah Wesley's life (she's one of the most important figures in revival history) is still being counted.

Maybe today you should go looking for an old grocery bag!"
(Taken from Secrets of the Vine devotional)

Time for some pruning!

Every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. John 15:2b

On Friday our bible study was about pruning! We have been going through John 15, and this week we looked at how pruning is an act by the vinedresser to cut back to bear more fruit. Pruning may also be looked at as 'the testing of your faith'.

After this study I had a feeling that I was about to undergo some 'pruning'. Sure enough the next day not long after I had talked to my husband about how God prunes, the pruning started, in both of us! I was so thankful, straight away I was able to recognise it as a time of pruning, a test of our faith, to make us more Christlike, so that we can bear more fruit, for the glory of God! I must admit initially I felt crushed, hurt, somewhat angry, but once I realised that God was in control of it all, that He would use this time to prune us, I was able to relax and trust in Him.

I had to go to the shops, so took the time to listen to one of my favourite songs at the moment - Desert Song on the new Hillsong 'This is our God' cd.

This is my prayer in the desert, when all thats within me feels dry. This is my prayer in the hunger and need my God is the God who provides.

This is my prayer in the fire, in weakness or trial or pain. There is a faith proved of more worth than gold so refine me Lord through the flame.

I will bring praise, I will bring praise, no weapon formed against me shall remain I will rejoice, I will declare God is my victory and He is here.

This is my prayer in the battle when triumph is still on its way, I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life. in every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship.

This is my prayer in the harvest, when favour and providence flow, I know I'm filled to be emptied again, the seed I've received I will sow.


I love the second verse which reminded me that God refines us in the flame. I had the choice to rejoice that God is working on us and even though it may seem that God is distant, I know that He is so close and is holding us tightly in the fire. I also love the lines,

All of my life. in every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship.

At church yesterday, whilst I was feeling glum, I had so much reason to sing and worship such an awesome God. The joy of Him is my strength. He never changes, and He is unconditionally loving. I am confident that God will work this situation for good (Romans 8:28).

Igniting a sense of wonder

I was having a discussion the other day with my husband about TV, I was trying to explain why I don't like it! I couldn't quite explain how I was really feeling and what it is about TV that I don't like. I know there are many great, beneficial and entertaining interviews, reports and shows, but in the context of our children, I am not convinced that it is always a 'good' thing for them. The next day I received a book on parenting from a friend of mine and in it was a few pages about TV, this part of a quote has helped me to work out how I feel about the whole TV issue.

"Sure, life without TV was difficult when they were all little. With five small children running around, at the time, it was tempting to turn on the TV just for a break. But the short term break would have created a TV appetite in the children that we didn't want to feed. We reasoned that once they realised that the TV does most of the imagining and thinking for them their brains and bodies become lazy.

....The sad reality is that the shows may be innocent or 'educational' when they are little but as they grow up so do their tastes. Barney may satisfy Junior when he's five, but when he's fifteen he is going to want to watch something a little more attractive than a purple dinosaur. The problem is that his habits have been established and his appetite to be entertained has been satisfied for so many years he doesn't know that to do with himself."

A TV appetite is what I don't want my children to have, and at the moment whilst my children don't watch much TV, they all love it and would easily watch it all day! That's not to say that they don't like doing other things or that they can't entertain themselves, but I just don't want to feed that appetite. I need to make an intentional effort to feed appetites that I do want them to have, and that are going to be beneficial for them throughout their life.

The biggest appetite I want them to have is for God and His word. Jesus is the bread of life, John 6:35, I want them to learn how to be completely satisfied in Him, not things in this world. For this to happen though, I need to make the time to read to them, talk to them about God, answer their questions about life, show them that He is priority in all that we do, that we give Him first place in the mornings, first place in our distribution of money, and that Sundays are the best day of the week where we go and worship Him as a family. And most of all I need to be an example of someone who is hungry for God and seeking to be satisfied in Him alone.

Another appetite I want to create within in them is a sense of wonder for God's creation. A secular book I purchased recently called The Sense of Wonder by Rachel Carson, has encouraged me in this.

A child's world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. It is our misfortune that for most of us that clear-eyed vision, that true instinct for what is beautiful and awe-inspiring, is dimmed and even lost before we reach adulthood

......If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder without such gift from the fairies, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.

....If you are a parent who feels he has little nature lore at his disposal there is still much you can do for your child. With him, wherever you are and whatever your resources, you can still look up at the sky - its dawn and twilight beauties, its moving clouds, its stars by night. You can listen to the wind, whether it blows with majestic voice through a forest or sings a many-voiced chorus around the eaves of your house...You can still feel the rain on your face and think of its long journey, its many transmutations from sea to air to earth.

If I want them to love God's creation I need to be in it with them, looking for opportunities to show it to them, and tell them about God through what they can see and feel around them.

The other appetite I want to feed is one for reading. This one, requires a lot of effort on my behalf initially, I need to set aside the time to read to them, not just picture book, but words that make them think and imagine. And they need to see me reading!

So, we haven't quite booted the TV out the door, but I am making more of a conscious effort to not feed their appetite for TV, but feed and create an appetite for God, His creation and books (good ones!). I need daily, moment by moment patience, passion, and perseverance from God alone for this!

God gives us richly all things to enjoy

"Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty,

nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God,

who gives us richly all things to enjoy.

Let them do good that they may be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share,

storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come,

that they may lay hold of eternal life."

1 Timothy 6:18-19

The past week I have been meditating on the above verse, how God has given us all things to richly to enjoy. Ever since I read Randy Alcorn's book, 'Money, Possessions and Eternity', my attitude towards money and the things of this world has changed. It taught me to 'not store up treasures on earth, but store up treasure in Heaven', it taught me to be more disciplined with my money to be able to walk away from 'a bargain', to take more care of the possessions I have - but to hold on to them loosely, it caused us to put a 'no junk mail' sign on our letterbox to take away any temptations to lust over and covet 'things' that we don't need, it has also taught us to give more, to look for opportunities to give generously and cheerfully.

But sometimes I feel guilty for having things. For the nice house we have, for the modern appliances we have, for good coffee and chocolate, for the healthy children we have. When I think about the billions of people in this world who have no place to call home, who have to wash their clothes in the river, who have never smelled coffee or chocolate, whose children are starving and dying of disease.

But God has given us these things to enjoy, I always want to be so careful that I don't take them for granted, and to realise that all I have is from Him. Its helpful to remember verse 19, to do good, to be ready to give, to be willing to share.

3 years ago when we the opportunity to build a house was set before us, I struggled through the decision. I prayed and journalled so diligently about it. At the end of the day, our driving reason for taking the step and building a bigger house was to use it for God. The way our house has been designed has been to allow opportunities to serve others. I try to decorate my house in a way that makes people feel welcomed, to be a place of refuge, peace, warmth, where there is a sense of the 'presence of God'. When I choose verses to write on my chalkboards, I usually choose ones that I need to be reminded of, but I also hope others will be encouraged by them too.

There are times when its hard for me to open up my home and I am not willing to do 'good' and to 'share', like when I am tired and just want to go to bed! But God always quickly reminds me that our home, is His home and He is the one who will give me the strength to serve and use it for His purpose, for His his glory.

As I enjoy my husband, my children, my family, my home, coffee and chocolates, I constantly need to be thankful to God for them, and to be willing to share them!

I encourage you to read Randy Alcorn's latest post on his blog 'Creator and Culture and anticipating a Redeemed Earth', he provides such a wonderful insight into the things of this world.