More thankful

Since my last post a week ago, we have had a successful week of daily chores. Number 3 hasn't quite grasped the concept of a roster yet, she doesn't understand why she can't prepare the milks and make breakfast everyday! Number 1 and 2 are understanding it very well. Number 1 does a good job at organising everyone, she tells the others what jobs they are doing for the day, and for the day after!

I have really appreciated the help they have given me and I love seeing them serve each other. But what I have noticed most of all is at dinner time, there are so many 'thank yous' to the people who have prepared tea! A spirit of thankfulness is something I have been wanting to instill in my children, and particularly a thankfulness to the cook. My mum encouraged this within us, to always be thankful to someone who has cooked for us, taken us out, or had us over, or given us a gift.

I think because they have each been involved in helping prepare tea at one stage or another, they are more thankful to each other and to me when they eat their meal. Their thankfulness is really sincere, and it comes out spontaneously without me having to prompt them.

Little helpers

The beginning of this week was a struggle for me! Most of it was due to my attitude. I could blame tiredness, hormones, busyness, but really, I know that I have struggled because there has been a battle going on with my flesh and spirit! But God is so gracious, and He directs my paths. I came across a sermon by Greg Harris called Don't Waste Your Kids which I really needed to hear!
He was looking at Psalm 127:3-4

"Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth." Psalm 127:3-4

I have never really thought of my children as being like arrows before. I have heard this verse many times, but not really contemplated what it is saying. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. My children are like arrows whom my husband and I need to prepare to be aimed at a target! In Old Testament days, arrows were handcrafted by warriors themselves. The arrowhead, needs to be combed and sharpened for maximum impact on the target. Greg Harris went into detail about in what areas children need to be sharpened in, and we are preparing them for the day when we will release them to the target.

The following ramblings are what I noted down from his sermon as I was listening to it.

As you release, you realise everything you have done is to release. No one stands around looking at the archer after the arrow has been taken off. Our homes are a launching pad, a bow, our contribution to our children’s future is a lifetime input. Being a good father is not at odds with being a good pastor or ministry. Family is a vehicle for ministry, not an obstacle. Everything about our lifestyle should be to influence our children. Our work, our hospitality, our tithes, offerings, they need to know the why. Our children need to be with us more of the time.

Talk with them, tell them stories, our children climb into our heart, they catch what we have, they need to be close enough to us to catch our enthusiasm. Train your children until you like them! Train them to be included in your life, preparing them to be part of the family team, God trains us in Hebrews 12 to be part of His holiness. God wants us to be part of His wonderful adventure of defeating and destroying the works of the devil. We have to train them so we won't hesitate to take them with us, to take them to important meetings, and be able to interact with other important people. Help your children meet the people that are the epitome of excellence. This partnership pays off in the long run. To succeed in child training is not to make them like you but to make them the best version of themselves that they can be.! When all of this is done the final scenario is described in Psalm 127: 5, they will not be put to shame when they are at the gates.

Listening to this sermon helped me with my attitude. I was particularly challenged to spend more time with my children. I am not very good at playing with my kids, I much rather do something with them, help them with craft, go for a walk, read them a book, or help them do a task. I know I need to include them so much more in what I do throughout my day. I will often tell them to go and play while I do my chores around the house. I know they want to be with me, but I am very task orientated, and it is so much easier to do things by myself!

But I was challenged to let them help me more, and to let them do things by themselves more. So I came up with the idea of a helping chart. 3 out of my 4 children are capable of helping at this stage so I made a list of helping chores that occur each day of the week and I rotate their names each day. Every day someone different gets breakfast ready for everyone. They ask what each family member would like and serves them before themselves. Another child helps me clean up the kitchen, do dishes etc. Then in the evening another child helps me with tea preparation, another setting the table, another kitchen and dinner clean up.

So far it has been working well - although its only been a few days! But they are so excited about helping, and alternating jobs and taking it in turns gives variety. And the best part about it, is I am spending that time with them, training them what to do, interacting with them and encouraging them in their work. I have also realised that with them doing the bulk of the work I would normally do, it frees me up to get other jobs done, and I don't feel under as much pressure, or feel guilty that I am doing tasks instead of spending time with my kids, because I am combining the two! Don't get me wrong, I don't want to treat them like little slaves and get them to do all my work so I don't have to do anything! But I do want to encourage them to help each other, to serve each other and take responsibility for each other and our home. After watching a show called the Nest, a 6 part reality show about adult children still living at home on SBS tonight, I am glad we are starting young in training them to not only be responsible for themselves, but to also serve each other. I just need to rely up on God each day to provide me lots of patience and wisdom from Him to train them in the way they should go.

Ignoring the dust and dirt!

I have been noticing a lot of dirt and dust around my house lately, and what I am realising is that it really doesn't bother me!

About a year before I had my first child I made the decision to leave a full time job to concentrate more on being a good wife, becoming more domesticated and to prepare myself for any future children! Naturally I am not a very domestic, clean or tidy person.

This was such a life changing decision for me. Without the pressure of full time work I was able to concentrate so much more on the things that were important to me, like God, my husband, ministry and my home. I absolutely loved being at home more, I grew to actually enjoy cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing, etc.! I had to the time to learn new cleaning techniques, new recipes, and I grew to love decorating my house. So when my children came along, I felt somewhat prepared to be able to cope with looking after a husband, house and baby!

But... having said all this, come 4 children later, I am having to train myself again, only this time to ignore the dirt and dust! 7 years ago, I had to train myself to notice the dirt and dust, and now to ignore it??! It has taken me a few years to be able to sit on the couch and cuddle my children and not get distracted from enjoying the moment by noticing the dust on the bookshelf and dirt on the floor!

I grew up in a home that was not perfectly tidy or clean, in fact often it was a little messy, mostly due to the fact that my mother was unwell for a lot of my life at home. But I have never felt that my parents didn't love me or have time for me. My mother was always so willing to spend time with me, to help me in whatever I needed, she was always there for me. Housework, never seemed more important to her than me. I am so thankful for her example, for the sacrifices she made for us, for the way she was able to ignore the dust and dirt to be with us.

I pray that I can be the same for my children, that when they look back over their childhood they can say that I always had time for them. It is so very hard for me because I love to have a clean, nice looking house, but God is helping me to not notice the dirt and dust, and to trust in Him to provide a suitable opportunity to clean without robbing time I could be spending with my children.

A year ago I came across this little poem in an old Christian Women's recipe book and it is always such a challenge for me.

Change of schedule

I am learning that in household tasks

Perfection is not what is best;

To stop and share love of a child

May mean some dust upon a chest,

To help a friend who is in need

May mean that I must wash tomorrow,

But I can leave my clothes today

If I am called to lighten sorrow.

A schedule always can be changed

If there is comfort that it brings

Oh, let me never grow too weak,

Neglecting people for mere things.

Louise Darcy