When we are going it alone

I came across this post today and it was so encouraging for me. It is called "Going it alone", she describes a time at a church picnic when her husband was busy and not with her, and she felt like her time at the hot church picnic with two small children was a waste because she interacted with only one other person, and in general it was plain hard work!

I have been in the same situation Janelle described in her post many many times before! It was so uplifting to read about someone else who also feels the same way, and to realise that there are good reasons for sometimes "going it alone".

This is a part of the post.

Why did I even go? I wondered to myself later that afternoon. I didn’t have any profound ministry moments or evangelistic opportunities. The one guest I spoke to probably doesn’t remember our conversation. The church members we sat with at lunch are probably still laughing at us. Was that all just a grand waste of time?

No. When I stopped to think about it, many good reasons for "going it alone" at the church picnic came to mind. Here are three:

1. “Going it alone” shows my kids I love the church. It proves Daddy and Mommy really mean it when we tell them: “Sunday is the most important day of the week” and that’s true for all of us, not just Daddy. It shows them what it looks like to be committed to the church even when it is not convenient or easy. Sure, they may not understand that lesson now, but someday, by God’s grace, they will.

2. “Going it alone” shows the church I love the church. Whether we’re aware of it, or not, people are watching us. They notice when we attend and when we don’t. (Actually, sometimes, when my kids are screaming, they can’t help but notice I’m in attendance!) But simply by showing up at a picnic, the Sunday morning meeting, or any other church event, I am showing the people in the church that I care about them and that I want to be with them, even when it isn’t easy. And hopefully I’m encouraging them, (with actions, if not with words) to love the church too.

3. “Going it alone” shows I believe God is at work. God is always at work in the church! He’s always up to stuff—conforming us all to be more like His Son, building us together in unity, using our lives to display the gospel and using our words to preach the gospel. If I truly believe this then I’ll go expecting God to work, even through an overwhelmed mom with two crying, hungry children (and no sunscreen!).I may not have thought anything profound took place at that picnic. But I may be surprised one day to learn that God was using me in ways I had no idea. So, was going it alone all a grand waste of time? Not a bit!

I totally agree to each of these 3 points, and this verse came to my mind after reading them.

"And let us not grow weary while doing good,

for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."

Galatians 6:9

Todays mercies for todays troubles - don't worry about tomorrow!

There have been days of late when I have been desperately dependant upon the God's strength each moment of each day. I have learned over the past few years to not look too far ahead, to live each day as it comes.

This year has been a particularly busy one. I spent 3 weeks at the beginning of the year mulling over a timetable of my weeks, I tried to find a spot for all the things I had to do, places I had to go, and people to see. But each time I went to slot something in, I had to stop, I disliked the idea of writing anything down. The thought of having a full week, made me feel horrible, so I ended up throwing the timetable out and proceeded to live each day as it came!

The lessons I have been learning this year have caused me to be so much more dependant upon God, to humble myself before him in every area of my life, and to be so much more desperate for His glory in all that I do.

Here's something I read in a sermon I came across just this morning.

The Christan's secret to dealing with trouble

There is a secret to the Christian life here that I want you to get a handle on. If you don't - you do on desperately needing to feel today the strength for tomorrow, then is seems to me that either you will cave in under the pressure of excessive anxieties, or you will find a worldly strategy for developing immense ego strength and persuade yourself the you really are sufficient for tomorrow's troubles.

Neither of those is God's way. God's way is summed up in two passages of scripture. One is Matthew 6:24,

"Do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own."

The other text is Lamentations 3:22-23,

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed,
because His compassion's fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is your faithfulness."

This has been such a timely reminder for me, that 'this is the day that the Lord has made, to rejoice and be glad in it.' Not to rejoice in yesterday, or tomorrow, but TODAY!

...As your days, so shall your strength be.

Deuteronomy 34:25b

At home and not happy

I was reading a letter written into a secular magazine. It's from a father responding to an article called 'At Home and Not Happy'. I haven't read the article, but the father's response to the article was very interesting.

I read it to my husband and he could relate somewhat to the father. There have definitely been times as a mother of young children when I have resented my husband for leaving me 'stuck' at home to go to work, meetings, the occasional night out with friends.

It took me a couple of years of having children before I realised how I had placed so much expectation on my husband regarding his reponsibilities as a husband, and father.

Now having read this article it has made me realise what a devastating effect a little resentment or 'poor me' attitude can have upon a father.

Here are a few excerpts from the letter.

The words (At home and not happy) could have come directly from my wife - the same resentment and anger about being stuck at home with small children. All very understandable and explainable. There is however, another party involved: the husband and the situation impacts on him, too, particularly when his wife is so unhappy.

When our second child was born, my wife became steadily more resentful towards me. If I went away on a business trip, it was labelled a "junket" or a "holiday". Being late home from work was greeted with a frosty atmosphere. Needing time on my own (a common need for males) was tantamount to declaration of war. ....House tasks were done by her before I'd even noticed they needed to be done, then I was resented for not doing them. The tension increased steadily, and I started drinking readily to escape. I was told most days about my lack of contribution, about how easy my life was in comparison to hers, about my ever growing list of inadequacies.

One day after about 3 years all of a sudden I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand the tension, the bitterness and resentment and the constant psychological attacks. So I walked out to save my sanity and remaining semblance of self respect. Our marriage ended on that day, despite subsequent attempts to renegotiate behaviours.

I've since re partnered...My partner doesn't demand all the time, so I give willingly. If she wants me to do something, she just asks, and she doesn't expect me to drop everything and do it immediately. She treats me with respect and I love and respect her for that

...Deciding you don't like it after the fact (having kids) and taking out that anger on your 'significant other' is a great recipe for destroying your relationship. The pattern of blaming males is particularly destructive. Men tend to initially avoid the problem, which makes it worse. Then they get down and depressed. Then if pushed too far, they will eventually seek to escape- through alcohol, drugs, going on trips, having affairs or leaving their partner permanently..

...So my advice to those unhappy stay at home parents - male or female- is to mentally reframe your situation in a more positive light, and stop thinking its all about you. Don't fall into the trap of seeing yourself as a victim and lashing out at those around you...

...And don't forget your partner - people respond better to carrots than sticks, and bitter words from someone you love is far worse than a stick. Love needs kind words and actions to survive and grow, or it slowly dies and fades away.

This letter reminded me how much I need to respect my husband and be thankful and appreciative of all that he does for our family. It is so important to focus on the positive and not get sucked in to a 'poor me' attitude.

...and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33

Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:6

Marriage, humilty and the gospel

These are the subjects I have been learning so much more about over the past few months. So much of what I have been reading and listening to have had these topics in them and I am so thankful for all God is teaching me about them in His Word.

There have been some hard 'cut to the heart' lessons, but God is so good and He has shown me time and time again "the path of life" and that "in His presence is fullness of joy and at His right hand are pleasures forevermore". (Psalm 16:11)

Our book club has just finished a life changing book, The Cross Centred Life by C J Mahaney. It's one of the shortest books you'll read, but worth every page!

The following quote encompasses all 3 of the topics I have been dwelling on.

Your relationships with others must be based on your relationship to God through the cross. Ephesians 4:32 states, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you."

When I become bitter or unforgiving toward others, I'm assuming that the sins of others are more serious than my sins against God. The cross transforms my perspective. Through the cross I realise that no sin committed against me will ever be as serious as the innumerable sins I've committed against God. When we understand how much God has forgiven us, it's not difficult to forgive others.

For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.

More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

Romans 5:10-11

Well, it's been quite a while since I have posted anything. I have had lots of thoughts floating around in my head, and I always find it so hard to know just what to pull out and expose for everyone to read!

So, this post is all about our 3 year old's Pretty Pony Party on the weekend!

We have parties in our family on the 3rd, 6th, 10th and 16th birthdays, and this year we will have a 3rd, 6th and possibly a 40th!

Our daughter decided she wanted a pony party about 2 months ago. When I mentioned this to my sister in law she told me she might be able to borrow a friend's pony for the day!

Well, Sasha the pony was a wonderful suprise guest at our 3 year old's pretty (girls only) pony party!

We are in a war

Two weekends ago I attended a conference about Spiritual warfare. It was a life changing event and has changed my way of thinking about the Christian life in so many ways.

The speaker was Chris Mueller from Faith Bible Church in California (you can download his sermons, he has preached through the whole book of Epesians), and we went through that awesome passage at the end of Ephesians, 6:10-20.

Here are some things I learnt and was reminded of throughout the weekend.

- As Christians we are to stay dependently strong to be able to stand firm. Eph 6:10

- We battle as a church, not as an individual

- Be strong, means to be dependant totally on God

- To win we need to know our enemy.

- We battle against an army of demons.

- We need to battle evil by remaining humble. This was the the most convicting one for me. These verses have been so helpful to me over the past two weeks.

James 4:6-10 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

1 Peter 5:6-9
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

- We need to be prepared by wearing the Armour GOD gives us, it's His Armour we are to put on.

- The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God refers to the bible verbally spoken to resist temptations. We need to attack temptations with the right verses. We need to know our weaknesses and be ready to fight using appropriate scripture.

- We need to lean on the word, learn the word, live the word and love the word.

- We need to be alert through prayer and purpose.

- We need to focus our prayer specifically on evangelism.

I guess the biggest thing I was reminded of was that we are in a WAR! Satan and his army are doing all they can to bring us down. We need to constantly be on guard, examining ourselves, our hearts, and devote ourselves fully to Him, and cover each other with prayer continually!

Unless theLORD builds the house...

I have been striving hard lately, mostly in my mind!

Striving to keep my house clean, sort things out so everything is orderly, to keep on top of washing and ironing, to keep on my kids backs about keeping the toy room clean, to have tea ready on time, into the bed on time, to love my husband and delight in my children and to teach 'teach them diligently'.

The problem with all of this is that I have been striving to do it all and the other day it all came on top of me in an emotional heap! I had been accomplishing these tasks, but in my mind they were never good enough, I needed to keep doing more.

I so easily slip into the sins of pride, selfish ambitions, anger...which all fuel these tasks in the wrong way.

But these verses refreshed, convicted and instructed me...

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

and

Unless the LORD builds the house, they labour in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. Psalm 127:1

What an amazing reminder that it is God who needs to build my house, its not up to me and if I do build it, it will be in vain!

I am so thankful for the Word of God, it never fails to show me what I need to hear the most.