Unless theLORD builds the house...

I have been striving hard lately, mostly in my mind!

Striving to keep my house clean, sort things out so everything is orderly, to keep on top of washing and ironing, to keep on my kids backs about keeping the toy room clean, to have tea ready on time, into the bed on time, to love my husband and delight in my children and to teach 'teach them diligently'.

The problem with all of this is that I have been striving to do it all and the other day it all came on top of me in an emotional heap! I had been accomplishing these tasks, but in my mind they were never good enough, I needed to keep doing more.

I so easily slip into the sins of pride, selfish ambitions, anger...which all fuel these tasks in the wrong way.

But these verses refreshed, convicted and instructed me...

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

and

Unless the LORD builds the house, they labour in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. Psalm 127:1

What an amazing reminder that it is God who needs to build my house, its not up to me and if I do build it, it will be in vain!

I am so thankful for the Word of God, it never fails to show me what I need to hear the most.

My hands were busy

I spotted this poem on my friends fridge the other day, I have read it once before, but it was a very timely reminder for me about how quickly time goes by and how I need to cherish the fleeting moments I have with my precious children!

My Hands were Busy

My hands were busy through the day

I didn't have much time to play

The little games you asked me to,

I didn't have much time for you.

I'd wash your clothes,

I'd sew and cook,

But when you'd bring your picture book

And asked me please to share your fun,

I'd say, "A little later son."

I'd tuck you in all safe at night

And hear your prayers, turn out the light,

Then tiptoe softly to the door...

I wish I'd stayed a minute more.

For life is short, the years rush past.

A little boy grows up so fast.

No longer is he at your side,

His precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away,

There are no longer games to play.

No good-night kisses, no prayers to hear;

That all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands, once busy, now are still

The days are long and hard to fill.

I wish I could go back to do

The little things you asked me to.

A special time away

1 week ago I had the privilege of going away with my eldest daughter to Sydney to visit my sister. It was a big surprise for her, she knew her and I would be going away sometime (she thought next year!) but she didn't know ANY details, until the night before we left. None of our kids have been on an aeroplane that they can remember, so just going on a plane was a special event, and then to see her Aunty, and to have her all to myself for 5 days!

It truly was a joy and delight to be able to take her away and spend the time alone with her away from her siblings. To just hang out with her, away from the cooking, cleaning, washing and general busyness of life, it was a precious time and one that I hope and pray she will remember fondly. It has helped me appreciate and love her so much more. I hope to do that with each of my children every few years.

Here are some snaps from our little holiday!

I think she went up and down the steps of the Sydney Opera House about 10 times!

The best experience was feeding my all time favourite animal, a giraffe! They are so adorable close us, big beautiful brown eyes!

A tribute to my Mum

Today it has been 6 years since my mother passed away and ventured into her glorious home in Heaven. This time of the year brings back so many memories of my mother, her life, her sickness and her death.

Around Easter I am always reminded of Easter Saturday when my dad rang to tell us that it wouldn't be long before she left us. She had been in and out of hospital so many times during her life, but this would be the very last time she would be in there.

It was my birthday last week, my sister's birthday on the weekend and I can recall so many birthdays when she was in hospital, unable to celebrate at home with us. Then today, the 5th May she passed away, in the week before Mother's Day.

Although my days are mostly filled with gladness, there are countless moments when I am overcome with a desire for her presence still. I am so confident there will be a day when I will see her again and share my life in eternity with her, but life here on earth is often lonely without her.

So many people who knew my mum would agree that she was an amazing selfless woman of faith. Her personality was completely different to mine in almost every possible way, yet I inherited so many of her passions for animals, flowers, craft, sewing and gardening.

I miss her most for her steadfastness, her strength despite such immense pain and suffering throughout so much of her life. I used to question why she had to endure so much suffering, but I came to realise and see how God used so much of what she went through for HIS glory and for the edification of so many of His people and those who did not know Him. She spoke so boldly of her faith to doctors, nurses, patients, family, and friends. I saw that God gave her a life of suffering for His purpose and her faith in Him inspires me to keep hoping, and trusting in a God who kept her, and used her so much for His own glory.

During the first 8 months of her intense sickness around 18 years ago, my father was saved. She lived around 15 years of her Christian life without him knowing and loving God, and it was only through her sickness that he was saved. She testifies how she would go through it all again for his salvation.

It was only last week, that I realised how her suffering and pain brought me to Christ as well. One time when my mum was in hospital and I was about 18, I was heart broken over a guy. As my mum was in hospital experiencing her own pain, I felt I couldn't talk to her about what I was going through, and I didn't have the courage to talk to anyone else. So I turned to God, utterly and completely. As I prayed and read His word so much more, I was overcome with who He is and what He had done for me.

Suddenly everything I had learned as a child and teenager came together for me, and I began to make Jesus the Lord of my life! I grew in such intimacy with Him and His word restored, lifted and completely satisfied me.

I realised only last week (on my birthday in fact!) that had she been well and available for me at that time, I would not have turned to the only One who could truly heal me and help me and who has given me an amazingly glorious new life!

There are still days when I lament over her not being here on earth. I am saddened that she never got to hold 2 of my children, but yet ever so grateful that she was able to witness our marriage and hold our first two children, something we all thought she would never have the chance to do!

So today I praise God for my mother, she will live in my heart and soul forever, and I can't wait for the day when we are reunited again.

Music for my soul

This morning I had an unexplainable heaviness in my heart. I was trying to fight off random negative thoughts and my tiredness was allowing them to have victory.

Even though I know deep down that only God can truly satisfy, it is so hard sometimes to come to Him.

But something within me drew me to put on some music, and within moments my downcast soul was lifted, amazingly, and overwhelmed by my wonderfully gracious, almighty God.

I bought the CD Valley of Vision - Songs of worship inspired by the classic book of Puritan Prayers, a few weeks ago, and it has been such a blessing to me. I love the way music can touch parts of my soul like nothing else can!

These are the words that turned me to Him.

In the Valley

When you lead me to the valley of vision
I can see you in the heights
And though my humbling wouldn't be my decision
It's here your glory shines so bright.
So let me learn that the cross precedes the crown
To be low is t o be high
That the valley's where You make me more like Christ.

Let me find Your grace in the valley
Let me find Your life in my death
Let me find Your joy in my sorrow
Your wealth in my need
That You're near with every breath.

In the daytime there are stars in the heavens
But they only shine at night
And the deeper that I go into darkness
The more I see their radiant light
So let me learn that my losses are my gain
To be broken is to heal
That the valley's where Your power is revealed.

The last verse is what got me, I love looking into the sky during the day amazed that the stars that we see so clearly at night are still there. The only reason we can see them at night is because of the darkness, and they shine so much brighter out in the country where there are not so many lights.

Just like in my moment of darkness, the wonders, grace and love of God shine so much brighter than during the daytime, when things are going well.

A worthy biblical goal for our children

I have been a bit slack in my blogging lately, I have been too consumed with many good books and projects and I haven't taken the time to sit at my computer!

Amongst all the good books I have been reading, I picked up one of my favourite parenting books the other day, Shepherding a Child's heart by Tedd Tripp and I was challenged about what my goal for my children is.

He mentions the following as unbiblical goals.

Developing social skills, psychological adjustment, saved children, family worship, well-behaved children, good education, control.

So what is a worthy biblical goal? His answer comes from the Shorter catechism.

Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.

He continues,

Is there any other goal that is worthy? Are you willing to start here with your children? You must equip your children to function in a culture that has abandoned the knowledge of God. If you teach them to use their abilities, aptitudes, talents and intelligence to make their lives better, without reference to God, you turn them away from God. If your objectives are anything other than "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy God forever", you teach your children to function in the culture on its terms.

How do we do this? We pander to their desires and wishes. We teach them to find their soul's delight in going places and doing things. We attempt to satisfy their lust for excitement. We fill their young lives with distractions from God. We give them material things and take delight in their delight in possessions. Then we hope that somewhere down the line they will see that a life worth living is found only in knowing and serving God.....

From their earliest days, they must be taught that they are creatures made in the image of God - made for God. They must learn that they will only "find themselves" as they find Him. Your child must grow to see that real living is experienced when he stands before God and says, "Whom have I in heaven but you? And being with you I desire nothing on earth" (Psalm 73:25). If this is what you want for your children, then you must ensure that the content of your everyday life fits this objective.

It is so easy to get caught up with worldly goals for my children. Good behaviour and control is a big one for me. I can easily get into the mindset that if my children are under my control and are well behaved, they are doing well. But loving and enjoying God is a so much better goal and desire for my children. I long for them to know and love God with all their heart, soul and mind.

So often I focus on correcting their behaviour and telling them what God does and does not want them to do, more so than I talk to them about how glorious, majestic, loving, forgiving and sovereign our God is.

I am so thankful to God for this reminder, and I pray that He will help me to see the opportunities He gives me to talk to them about Him.

A time apart...

Every now and again I take the kids down to my dad's for a few days to allow my husband some 'quiet time' at home.

The first time we did this, a couple of years ago, I dreaded the thought of being left alone with a 4 children under 5! But, it was something he needed, and as it ended up, something I needed as well!

In the past I have unintentionally depended on my husband way too much. He has been such an awesome help ever since number 1 entered the world. He does absolutely everything when it comes to babies and children (except clean up vomit!). I am so thankful for all that he does, I don't know how I would have coped without him!

But the balance between his work, family life, marriage, personal times etc. has been hard to work out and maintain, and this has overwhelmed us both at times. So our times away from each other have been so vital and necessary. Beneficial not only for us individually, but for the impact it has on our family.

The first time I left him at home alone, I had to depend totally and utterly on God to get me through. I wanted to give him that time alone, but I felt so inadequate and overwhelmed at the task of caring for our children all on my own.

But, thank God for weaknesses, as they cause me to run to Him, to depend upon Him, to find strength in Him alone, and at the end of the day, He ALWAYS hears me and pulls me through, victoriously and joyfully! Those few days ended up being so wonderful, and it was so freeing to know that I could do it on my own with His strength and grace. I really enjoyed the time with my kids and with my dad, it ended up being a wonderful time away.

So this week I am back here at my dad's enjoying a holiday away from my home! I actually have a project to complete while I am here, painting his office to accommodate more beds for when I invite all my friends over for sleepovers!

I am also enjoying time to spend with my kids, they are older now so I don't feel like I have to do as much for them. I cooked meals last night for us all, so I don't need to fuss about cooking, and it really doesn't matter if we spend the day in our pyjamas as we don't even really need to leave the house!

I love being at my dad's house, it brings back lots of wonderful memories. I love exploring in the garden, sitting by the pool, reading in the formal lounge, and the early nights!

I am looking forward to hearing all about the time my wonderful husband has spend on his own and with the Lord, and absence always makes the heart grow fonder!!