Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Heart preparation for America

Autumn arrived rather dramatically on the weekend with downfalls of rain and hail. Driving down the main street of Handhorf on Monday I noticed red leaves on trees, it was a reminder that the days are passing by...

Lately, at least once a day, I have to stop and take a deep breath so as to not become overwhelmed with our move to America. Things don't always unfold the way we plan them to, I thought I would have got so much more organised by now!

But I think God has been working on my emotions... We haven't made much headway so far practically with our plans, (i.e fixing up the house, sorting through stuff, visas, plane tickets, financial stuff etc.) we are in a bit of a waiting period at the moment, but lots has been happening in terms of my mental and emotional preparation!

One example is my attitude towards my children and homeschooling. I have always loved the concept and ideal of homeschooling, but deep down have felt completely inadequate, impatient, and clueless about it. Since school holidays, I have pretty much begged the Lord each day to help me to love my children, I have found it a struggle...but He has proven Himself so faithful to my endless cries for help, mercy and forgiveness!

Consequently, amongst my bad attitudes and emotional ups and downs with my children I have these nagging thoughts in the back of my mind, so how will you cope with homeschooling, in a different country, away from family, friends and the familiar?!

Well, God has been working on my heart, in so many ways, I am realising that the best preparation for homeschooling for me is to prepare my heart for it first. If I don't' have a heart and a passion for it, then there's probably not much point to it.

I have been reading a few books, reading articles, blogs and listening to talks about other people's experiences and some of the 'philosophies' behind it. These resources are starting to inspire and motivate me and I am starting to become so much more excited about the whole venture. What I am looking forward to the most, is the time I will get to spend with my children and all the things we are going to learn together!

I am so thankful that He prompted me 3 years ago to start meeting with Him 5am every morning, those times with Him are often by far the best parts of my day, and it is an awesome time to sit, listen, learn and pour out my heart before Him.

Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
But he who trusts in the Lord mercy shall surround him.
Be glad in the Lord and rejoice you righteous.
And shout for joy all you upright in heart.
psalm 32:10-11


Trish said...

It seems strange to read that you think you're not up for the task when I can hardly think of anyone more devoted and disciplined in her life. II Cor 12:9 But He said,"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness...